Okay so my son, Ian, who is now 6 years old, was, on Monday December 21st diagnosed with PDD Nos. I had accepted prior to the diagnoses what it was, I have researched for months prior to our appointment and thought I had myself prepared for this.
I also have a 14 month old little girl who seems to be, so far, 'typical'. I love both of my children dearly. They are my world.
But today, I find myself crumbling at everything. The tantrums from Ian, the fact Kaylan will not nap, I have family and friends coming for the Holidays so I am attempting to clean a playroom that looks like a tornado literally struck it. I can't keep it clean as soon as I do pick it up my son is in it and takes every toy out and throws it around. I find myself constantly picking up after, comforting, calming, being the rational one trying to find the reasons why and making every puzzle fit when they just won't work no matter how hard I seem to try. And most of the time, I can do this, I can handle this, it's just part of my life.
But not today, today I am not handling this well. I am breaking down and crying constantly I feel like every door I open another one slams in front of me. I am alone in my battle against an opponent I can't see to fight. I feel like no matter what I do something is going to happen to cause something his mind that causes a major melt down. I am just venting here because I feel like I am at the end of my rope right now. How can do this alone? I know that we are going to start therapy and that will help but as of right now I feel like I am so alone and in such a dark place ughhh
